A Little Patience, Please!

I wanted to share a sample letter that is circulating around my Autism Support Group.  The hustle, bustle, and of changing routines often equal confusion, fear, and uncertainty in kiddos with processing issues.  Please be patient!  It's also a stressful time for the parents trying to help their child. 
Imagine if all the things you love, all the traditions your family enjoy: shopping for the tree, trimming the tree, looking at lights, shopping for gifts, cookie exchange parties, etc., sent your child into a tailspin.  You see a meltdown at the Christmas Tree Lot, but the parent is dealing with yet another tradition that fell through, and probably wants to cry along with their child.  Just imagine.  Instead of muttering about discipline (we do discipline our kids, this isn't about discipline, our kids are hurting, overloaded, and confused), try compassion.
I am sharing this letter for a few reasons.  First, it's to highlight some of the challenges are kiddos face during the holidays, so everyone will have an idea of what to expect.  Second, I would like to get this letter out to all who need it.  It was well written, and explains a lot.  Please feel free to pass it on and share with someone who could benefit.  Last of all, if you are friends/family with a child on the Autism Spectrum, and they will be visiting, please take this letter to heart.  We really DO want to visit, even if our visits don't look like what  you imagine.  Again, we are doing our best!  With a little understanding and flexibility, we can all enjoy the Holidays!

Dear _____, (e.g., Aunt Sally)

I understand that we will be visiting each other for the holidays this year! Sometimes these visits can be very hard for me, but here is some information that might help our visit to be more successful.

As you probably know, I am challenged by a hidden disorder called Aspergers, or what some people refer to as High-Functioning Autism. Aspergers is a neuro-developmental disorder which sometimes makes it hard for me to understand the environment around me. I have barriers in my brain that you can’t see, but which may make it difficult for me to adapt to my surroundings.

Sometimes I may seem rude and abrupt, but it is only because I have to try to understand people, and at the same time make myself understood. Children with Aspergers have different abilities. For example, some may not speak much, and some write beautiful poetry. Others are whizzes in math (Albert Einstein had a form of autism), or may have difficulty making friends. We are all different and need various degrees of support.

Sometimes when I am touched unexpectedly, it might feel painful and make me want to run away. I get easily frustrated, too. Being around a lot of other people sometimes feels like standing next to a moving freight train – and trying to decide how and when to jump aboard. I may feel frightened and confused some of the time. This is why I like to have things the same as much as possible. Once I learn how things happen, I can stay pretty calm. But if something changes, then I may have to relearn the situation all over again!

When you talk to me, I may not be able to comprehend everything you are saying to me if there is a lot of noise and distraction around. I usually have to concentrate to hear and understand one thing at a time. You might think I am ignoring you, but I am not. Rather, I am hearing everything, but not knowing what is most important to respond to.

Holidays can be hard for me because there are so many different people, places, and things going on that are out of my ordinary environment. This may be fun and adventurous for most kids, but for me, it can be hard work and extremely stressful. I often have to get away from all the commotion to calm down. It would be great if you had a private place set up to where I could retreat.

If I can’t sit at the meal table, please don’t think that I am misbehaving or that my mom and dad have no control over me. Sitting in one place for very long is often very hard for me. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by all the smells, sounds, and people. When this happens, I just have to get up and move about. But please don’t stop eating on my account. Go on without me, and my mom or dad will handle the situation the best way they know how.

Eating in general can be hard for me. If you understand that Aspergers is a sensory processing disorder, it’s no wonder eating is a problem. Think of all the senses involved with eating (e.g., sight, smell, taste, touch) and all the complicated mechanics that are involved (e.g., chewing and swallowing). This is something that some kids with Aspergers have trouble with. I am not being picky. I just can’t eat certain foods because my sensory system is overly-sensitive. (Hope you understand.)

Also, please don’t be disappointed if my mother or father doesn’t dress me in fancy clothes. It’s because they know how much stiff and itchy clothes can drive me nuts! I have to feel comfortable in my clothes, or I will just be miserable. When I go to someone else’s house, I may appear bossy and irritable. In a way, I am being controlling, because that is how I try to fit into the world around me. I like things to be done in a way I am familiar with or else I might get confused and frustrated. It doesn’t mean you have to change the way you are doing things. Just please be patient with me and understanding of how I have to cope.

My parents have no control over how my Aspergers makes me feel inside. Kids with this disorder often have little things that they do to help themselves feel more comfortable. The professionals call it “self regulation,” or “stimming.” I might rock, hum, flick my fingers, or any number of different things. I am not trying to be disruptive or weird. Again, I am doing what I have to do for my brain to adapt to the environment. Sometimes I cannot stop myself from talking, singing, or doing an activity I enjoy. The professionals call this “perseverating,” which is similar to self-regulation or stimming. I do this only because I have found something to occupy myself that makes me feel comfortable. Perseverative behaviors are good to a certain degree because they help me calm down.

Holidays are filled with sights, sounds, and smells. The average home is turned into a busy, frantic, festive place. This may be fun for most kids, but it can be hard work for me to conform. If I fall apart or act-out in a way that you consider socially inappropriate, please remember that I don’t possess the neurological system that is required to follow some social rules. In any event, I will try very hard to be on my best behavior when we get together during the holidays.

Thanks for listening. I’m looking forward to seeing you.

________ (Aspergers child’s name)

Thankful!

Things have been pretty quiet here on my blog.  I decided to take some time over the holidays and unplug.  That said, when given the chance to "whatever they wanted" according to Andrew, over the Thanksgiving Break, they chose to play computers most of the time.  :)

I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving!  We decided to keep things low-key this year, and stay home.  We usually make the trek to Oklahoma, but the drive was daunting this year, for some reason.  Sometimes you just need a week to refresh.  Marcel, my mom, the boys, and I decided to treat ourselves to a little fun Thanksgiving Eve.  We booked a night in a downtown hotel, went out to eat, and spent the night swimming!  The next morning, we got up early, enjoyed the hotel's breakfast, then headed out to watch the parade.  After that, we came home and prepared a tasty Thanksgiving meal.  We even got some Black Friday shopping in for the first time ever! A pic of my mom, Marcel, and the boys:

 

It's back to business as usual this week.  I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and enjoys the Christmas Season!!  

Challenge Air

Last weekend, my kiddos were able to participate in a wonderful event through a wonderful program, Challenge Air.  Challenge Air is a non-profit, all volunteer organization that allows kids to soar...literally!  It is a flight program that puts kids with disabilities in the Captain's Chair, where they get to pilot an aircraft.  It was an amazing day, filled with amazing people!  My airplane and flight loving son, Andrew, was so excited!  Since the minimum age to fly is 7, we decided Andrew (whose 8) would get to be the pilot this time around, and Lucas (who is 7) and I would be the passengers.  Next year, it'll be Lucas' turn...eeekkk!!  My baby, flying a plane!!

The boys attended Ground School where they learned plane safety and flying basics, then it was off to the plane to answer questions, and do a safety check.  After our flight unit, the boys had some really, really great questions, and it was obvious they knew their stuff.  Score one for homeschool!  :)

 

After that, it was time to fly!  Andrew was a great pilot, and Lucas loved listening to the tower give us directions!  My mom stayed on the ground, and was there the whole time to cheer the boys on.  Thanks, Nanny!!!  We love that she was able to come with us!!

 

 

 

Check out Challenge Air, and get prepared to be inspired and moved by the pictures and their mission.  It's a really great, wonderful, and fantastic program that moves all who are involved!!  Andrew wanted to be an airplane flagger (I'm sure there is a more technical word for that) when he grows up, but after last Saturday, he's decided he wants to be a Pilot!!!  :) 

http://www.challengeair.com/

 



Spooky Fun!

This is a quick weekly wrap-up of Halloween week.  I love Halloween!  We decided to take a break from Five in a Row in the afternoons, and have some spooky fun.

We were planning on doing the Bouncing Egg experiment out of Lucas' favorite book, 101 Science Experiments, but ended up bumping it up a bit.

Instead of simply placing an egg in vinegar, which is what the book suggested, we placed 3 eggs in 3 different solutions: water, vinegar, and lemon juice.  Then (as a result to Lucas squeezing a little too hard), we decided to break 3 eggs and put the insides into different cups with the same 3 solutions.  We then placed 6 eggs in a giant bowl of vinegar and added green food coloring to spookify it a bit.  We spent the week taking measurements, and using our 5 senses to notice the differences in the various eggs.  The eggs-periments were a blast, and the boys made some great observations.

 

We also attended a Halloween Party at the Children's Museum



 

 

Had fun cookie decorating with friends





 





Watched a live theater production of Pinocchio (and got to meet the cast!!)



 

Spent the day at our favorite farm with the family where we went on hay rides, rolled tires down a hill, played in the tree house, went on hikes through the grass maze, and just had some great family time!  This pic is of the boys with their Aunt Tana in the tree house!!



 

And...of course...trick or treating!!  Yes, they wore their costume ALL WEEK!  I washed every night, they just loved them so much, how could I say no?  Can't figure out who they are?  They are both Annoying Orange.  There is only one Annoying Orange in the cartoon, but both of them wanted to be the main character, so we decided to clone Annoying Orange and have two.  It worked, and they were both happy!  :)  We went trick or treating with some of their neighborhood friends and had a blast.

 

WHEW!  Busy week, but so much fun!!!  I'm glad we have a nice slow weekend to relax.  :)

 

 

Up, up, and away!

Okay, these past few weeks have been busy!  Fun busy, but busy... you'll see why in these next few posts.  I fell a little behind with my blogging, so hopefully I'll have time to catch up.

A few weeks ago we had a wonderfully fun and exciting unit study reading The Glorious Flight and studying all things flight.  I managed to take quite a few pictures so you can see just what our week involved.  A HUGE thanks to my mom for helping me find all the flight stuff!!!  This week was so much more fun with her help!

Monday:  We read the book, The Glorious Flight, and learned a little about France.  I found some cute books at the library, and also a kids CD that played French versions of popular songs.  The boys made French flags, and we labeled the parts of an airplane.  We also talked about gliders, and why they work.  I found some gliders at the dollar store, and we spent the afternoon flying!  Oh yeah, we also started the study off with a cute airplane snack.

 

 

Tuesday we learned about the first flights involving heated air.  We made a hot air balloon out of tissue paper, and filled it with hot air from the blow dryer.  The hot air balloon was simple to make.  Take two sheets of tissue paper, fold length-wise, and cut into a balloon shape (I'm not crafty, so a rough cut is fine!).  Glue around the edges, but keep the bottom open.  Insert the hair dyer, fill with air, then release, and (hopefully) watch it rise.  Ours didn't at all.  The experiment book we were using said it worked best in very cold weather.  Our high here in Texas was in the 90's that week, so oh well.  Lucas proclaimed the experiment an "epic fail" when it didn't rise, but we are keeping the balloon and hope to try again when (if) it gets cold.  It was fun anyway, and the boys got the idea.

 

 

 

Wednesday we talked about modern planes, and why they work.  We talked about the wings of an airplane and how they provide lift.  We did air experiments from the Usborne book, Fun With Air.  I didn't get any pictures this day, but we had a lot of fun.  I like Usborne, and all the experiments were fun, simple, and fast. 

 

 

Thursday was my "big event" next to the Air Show.  I've been planning this day all week.  We studied thrust today.  To get the idea of thrust, we attached 2 strings across our school room.  The boys blew up the long party-style balloons (I found some "screaming" balloons at the dollar store, so they were loud to boot), and taped them to toilet paper rolls.  We had balloon races all afternoon!  It was a hit, to say the least. 

 





 

 

We topped off the event by going to an Air Show on Friday.  What fun!!  This was our first air show, and it was pretty impressive!  What a FUN way to end a FUN week.  The boys knew their stuff, and were asking awesome questions to the soldiers after the show.  We got more than a few "Wow!  That's a really good question!"  It's amazing how much they learn through doing, and I'm loving this confidence in them to ask questions and explore further!  We'll see you next week!!